Introspection
by Kawaii Dragoness
Summary: Um...PG because of angst and death...3XMidii, 5XMeiran, proof that I'm alive...it's two stories put together, so no real summary.... Um, just read.
1. Notes

Introspection: An Episode Zero Series

_Introspection: An Episode Zero Series_

Author's Notes

Hey all! Kawa here. Recently I've been on a spree of introspective semi-angsty romance ficcies all in various POVs. My two victims--er, I mean couplings--in use are 5XMeiran and 3XMidii...the two Episode Zero-related couplings (that rock! 5XMei and 3XMidii 4ever!) Um, anyhoo, these are my warnings and notes all at once, so that you can get to the fic.

The full series is non-yaoi non-canon: so you won't see Wufei with Treize or Sally any time soon, nor Trowa with Quatre. (Definitely not Cathy...that's just incest.) You must have read the manga _Episode Zero_ at least acts 4 and 6, if not more, to understand any part of the fic. (Acts 4 and 6 are Trowa's and Wufei's respectively.) Oh, and it'd be helpful if you at least understood, if not supported, 3XMidii and 5XMeiran.

_Time to Heal_ (Part 2 of Wufei's section) is very strictly 5XMeiran...thre is a little bit against 5XSP, so be careful Sally fans. (It's strictly because this is a 5XMeiran, and I have a little bit against 5XSP. No offense!)

_I'm Here Now_ (Part 2 of Trowa's section) is in Midii's POV. The justification for this is that they never tell if Midii is alive or not...so I claim that she is, just to be safe. Meiran is long gone now, so why not bring Midii back? ^_^

I may have gotten either character OOC to fit the plot (besides, I was writing late at night, and have no sanity.) This is especially so because I decided to use the two least featured characters in the anime...also the two with the Episode Zero acts with a new character that could be counted for a romance. 

Some of Trowa's thoughts (like not seeing Midii for almost a year) in _I Am Alone_ are kinda based off of me in RL...I haven't seen my old boyfriend in almost a year, and I still love him, so well. (Note: you know who you are! Yes, I love you!) 

Wufei's takes place near the end of _Endless Waltz_, right when he's about to blow Nataku up. Trowa's takes place sometime before he gets amnesia. (That way, Trowa can remember Midii...his thoughts of her were not brought back to him in the series [dang] so there.)

Umm...legalse? Of course! Gundam Wing, Wufei, Meiran, Trowa, Midii, and _Episode Zero_ are not mine, they are owned by various rich Japanese and American companies...the plot of this fic series is mine...I own myself and my fiction and my computer...that's it!

Jaa!

Kawaii Dragoness Shenlonia


	2. Trowa and Midii, Piece 1: I Am Alone

I Am Alone....

_Introspection: An Episode Zero Series_  
_Trowa and Midii's Pieces  
Part 1: I Am Alone...._

Notes: This starts Trowa and Midii's pieces of the series. If you'd like to read the Wufei and Meiran pieces first, go to Chapter 4 (FanFiction.Net style...it's really _Wufei and Meiran's Pieces, Part 1: Rest in Peace_). Trowa's POV, introspective, hopefully in character, romance...I warned about everything in the Notes, so read those first.

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I have forgotten, long ago, what feeling is. Emotions are entirely foreign to me. Happiness, sadness, anger, pity, remorse, sympathy...I've never felt a drop of one for as long as I can remember.

So I don't know what's been developing over the past year or so. Images I just barely remember come back to me in my dreams...a blonde girl with shining eyes that calls herself Midii Une.

She was a spy for OZ turned traitor to protect me. She was the only one who was there when there was no one else. She saved my life. I never got to thank her for that simple act that I thought was unnecessary.

I'm not even sure if she's alive today. What I don't get is why I remember, why I care. She was just a small part of my life, a missing person amongst the thousands because of the war...there are others like her, missing now, a part of OZ now lost like all the lives I took.

But somehow, I remember, I care. It's been almost a year now, almost a year since I've seen her face up close. Her bravery, her integrity, her _self_...it will all be remembered. 

By me. I am alone now, yes...but not for long. Someday I will find you, Midii, when the war is over and sides do not tear us apart. But before that, I shall feel the sole feeling I do now...love of you. I love you, Midii.

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TBC


	3. Trowa and Midii, Piece 2: I'm Here Now

I'm Here Now....

_Introspection: An Episode Zero Series  
Trowa and Midii's Pieces  
Part 2: I'm Here Now...._

Notes: Trowa and Midii's Part 2. (Coincidece: on FanFiction.Net, this part is Chapter 3! LOL) Midii's POV.

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Why did I do it? I saved the life of the enemy, and now nobody knows I'm even alive. I could be working for OZ, supporting my family...but no, I had to save Trowa, and therefore risk myself. Somebody surely thinks I'm dead...I know my family does, I was even taken away from _them_. 

But I hope Trowa doesn't. He probably doesn't remember me. I don't know. What would I mean to him, a Gundam pilot? He has so much more, he has it _all_, as a matter of fact...isn't life unfair? Oh yes it is.... I saved _him_, and I get nothing in return while he's protected and can defend himself.

I have to get away from here. There's no way I'm living like this in constant hiding. I'm going to the Gundams' side. I'm coming to Trowa. I'm taking him back.

Because he haunts me in my dreams. Because I'll never forget when I saved his life and felt...good, felt _right_. I feel as if I'm on the wrong side with OZ...it's so right, it's _perfect_, it's _good_ when I'm with the pilots...with Trowa...again.

So I'm coming back. I'm here now, on the right side. I'll be a spy for the colonies, reporting back to the Silencer. My love. I'm here now, Trowa, and I'm coming for you.

^Third Person^

Midii got up from the alley and went off to start her search for Trowa Barton. However, she never made it. On the way, an OZ official who was searching for her found her and brought her back to the OZ forces, soon to be back as a spy. On one of her missions, she was discovered and killed.

After the war, Trowa searched through the OZ database to look up her status. When it said "Deceased" next to Midii Une's name, he openly wept and grieved for her. His only love, gone...and he was never to love again. 

Trowa went on in life, back to the circus, back to routine...and he finally felt. He felt remorse, and guilt, for letting Midii die, for not searching sooner. He felt sadness for her death. Trowa did not live a happy life, yet died happily in knowledge that he would be with Midii again. I'm here now, he thought as he died of natural causes. I'm with you, Midii.

~owari Trowa and Midii's Pieces~

EEP! ANGSTY! That was an accident, honest! She was supposed to find him and then they'd live happily ever after! But then...hmmm...blame the chibis! One of them told me to angst it up! *points at her chibis on her computer* Well, at least the end was sap. Um...if you want to cheer up, read Wufei and Meiran's pieces...or at least review!


	4. Wufei and Meiran, Piece 1: Rest in Peace

Rest in Peace

_Introspection: An Episode Zero Series  
Wufei and Meiran's Pieces  
Part 1: Rest in Peace_

Notes: For all of you who read Trowa and Midii's Pieces, I promise that this will be happier. For those who chose not to, read that *after* you get off of your sap high, OK? Umm...Wufei's POV, 5XMeiran (obviously).

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Justice...what does it mean? I am completely at its mercy, and yet I do not know what it is. Isn't that simply pitiful? I fight for something I cannot name.But then again, even justice is not what I fight for. I fight for Nataku, who believed in justice.

I'm not sure if she even knew what justice was. She knew it was a virtue to be fought for, but she never told me its meaning. I used to hate her, and we bickered like the children we were...until, of course, her dying moments brought us together...a little too late, yes, but still together for as long as I live.

Those moments will always haunt me, no matter how much I try to forget. Her eyes, her smile, her last words...the kindest compliment I have ever recieved or will ever recieve. She haunts me in my dreams...the scene of her death plays over and over again. "Like an endless waltz", that girl Mariemeia would say. Heh, it's so embarrassing to believe that I considered her my superior when she was so much younger than me. But it plays on and I must dance to it, whether or not I'm up to dancing.

I can't believe I didn't see it in the past. How could I have missed the fact? She couldn't show that she loved me, it would seem to be a sign of weakness. And the last thing she wanted was to be considered weak in my eyes, in the eyes of the clan. But somehow, she loved me, as I did her.

Why did I show it, you ask? For her safety. If I showed taht I loved her as I did, they surely would have expected us to make love in order to create an heir to the clan...which was the whole purpose of our marriage. I didn't want to hurt her...and it surely would have hurt.

I never proved my worth to her...she said that I was strong, stronger than herself. What a lie! She stood by to fight for what she believed in, while I acted as a coward. How could I be stronger than just, powerful, strong Nataku? There is no one, living or dead, who is stronger than Nataku...Nataku, my loved one, whose mortal name is Meiran.

I will never forget her, but my life must go on...the first stop is my Gundam. Altron Custom, it is called, but to me it is Nataku. I have now learned of her true resting place, which is within my soul. I press the self-denotation button, at peace at last. Nataku, may you rest in peace...as well as myself.

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TBC


	5. Wufei and Meiran, Piece 2: Time to Heal

Time to Heal

_Introspection: An Episode Zero Series  
Wufei and Meiran's Pieces  
Part 2: Time to Heal_

Notes: Still in Wufei's POV, kinda anti-5XSP, implied 6X9...takes place directly after the first part. (Oh, and coincidence: this part is Chapter 5 on FanFiction.Net! ^_^) Enjoy.

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That onna, Sally Po...behind me, I can tell--my senses have been heightened as a soldier, and I heard her approach. I can only wonder as to why she is here, or how she found me in this secluded forest. But she is here, and it would only be right to give her an audience.

"Wufei. It seems that Zechs and Noin have gone off somewhere." Figured...they'd run away together, their love for each other still bright and new. I can only hope the best for the two of them and their life to come, so let that be that. "So would you like to join me?"

I reply without hesitation. "You mean as a Preventor? Why not?" And I'll tell you why not...the Preventors will dedicate themselves to keeping the peace that we worked so hard to attain...the peace that, if it existed naught but a year ago, would have saved the lives of thousands of weak souls, those who shouldn't have fought...somewhere within htose thousands, is a dragon warrioress, a female god of war, named Nataku...whose soul is finally at peace.

I did not join the Preventors for love of Sally, nor did I marry her, nor do I plan such. She is a strong woman, she is a just woman, she is a faithful woman...yet, through all of this, I do not love her, and I doubt if I ever will. For I will always love Nataku and no other, and it is time to heal. Should not a doctor, especially one as talented as Sally Po, know how to heal a soul? I believe that she does, and that her loyalty and friendship--nothing more and nothing less, of course--will help me heal. I need to heal, more than anything else in this world.

My dearest Nataku, now at peace, would approve. Dearly beloved one, wherever you may be, I hope you are proud. My world will never be the same without you, but I have learned there is more to life than your grace. The universe must be patched up, and I will dedicate myself to making the patches and putting them in. Yes, Nataku...I believe you are proud of me. I thank you for giving me your strength, I honor you for your bravery, and I hope for the future.

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~owari Wufei and Meiran's Pieces~

Dang, this was short! Ah well. If you haven't already, read _Trowa and Midii's Pieces_. Either way, review!


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